Glass Sibling Support

A “glass sibling” is a brother or sister of a child with high needs who often feels unseen. Love is strong in these families, yet attention skews toward the child in treatment or care. The healthy sibling learns to be the easy one, to stay light on needs, and to keep going. This page exists to see them, name their load, and offer practical support.

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Many glass siblings describe mixed feelings. Pride in helping. Worry that never quite settles. Guilt for wanting time, space, or fun. Anger when life turns around appointments again. Loneliness at school when friends do not share the same home reality. These feelings make sense. They signal unmet needs, not weak character.

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Support works best when it restores visibility, choice, and normal life. Give clear, age-appropriate information. Offer small choices they control. Protect time for friends, study, sleep, and play. Build predictable routines so life feels steady. Treat joy as fuel, not a luxury.

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At home, make short daily check-ins sacred. Sit eye-to-eye. Listen first. Name the feeling you hear. Share simple updates about plans. Spread practical tasks across adults. Keep sibling roles age-fit. Love grows when the load fits the shoulders.

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Hospital visits go smoother with preparation. Describe sights and sounds before you go. Pack comfort items like a soft toy, blanket, book, or headphones. Plan one small activity together, then finish while energy remains. On days apart, use photos, short videos, or quick texts to stay close.

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Boundaries protect the bond. A sibling is not a junior nurse, therapist, or fixer. Saying no to adult tasks preserves connection and prevents burnout. Breaks from health talk help everyone breathe and see the person beyond illness.

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Watch for warning signs that support needs to lift: withdrawal, irritability, falling grades, lost interest in usual activities, sleep or appetite shifts, steady worry or low mood. If these signs persist, involve your GP, school counsellor, or a registered therapist. If safety is at risk, call 111.

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The Silent Hum Project supports glass siblings with practical check-ins, activity ideas for home or hospital, parent coaching on language and routines, and warm referrals to trusted services. Reach out on the contact page to book a kōrero. We will respond with next steps tailored to your whānau.